Saturday, 12 November 2016
After four weeks and one day of waiting for a letter through the post I finally caved and phoned the specialist nurses at Basingstoke to find out the results of my latest CT scan. When I say I caved, I was aware that Tracey was really starting to worry at the lack of news whereas I was happy to continue in “blissful ignorance” somewhat fearful of what might be coming our way. But to keep Tracey and the girls hanging on was just not right and a little selfish so I took a deep breath and made the call. Ironically the letter landed on the doormat only two days later!
I spoke to Linda whilst I was at work who was able to read me the letter that had been sent. Basically it advised that the three areas of concern that the team at Basingstoke have been watching had remained stable and there was no change. My tumour markers were also normal. So good news there too. There was no plan to do anything and a repeat CT scan would be done in October 2017.A huge wave of relief washed over me. The process of compartmentalising the emotions that come with the annual scan and locking them away deep at the back of my mind broke down momentarily and emotion surged to the surface. I needed a moment to compose myself, a deep breath and then back to business as usual.
I rang Tracey and shared the news and I could again feel the relief and the emotion down the telephone line. We were free for another year.
I’m not sure how I feel about waiting a whole year before my next CT scan though? I still have Pseudomyxoma Peritonei. Right now my cancer appears to be lying dormant deep within and could continue to do so for years. But equally if there is any sign of change whatsoever I want to be able to pick up in it immediately and act upon it quickly and before it’s too late. This is the tightrope I now find myself walking.
I relaid this to Linda in our conversation. There are obvious reasons as to why repeating the CT scans is simply not good for you. The contrast used doesn't do you any good and I understand that. But I still want to pick up on any potential change quickly so she suggested talking to my GP and arranging regular bloods to check the tumour markers.
I’m going to mull things over and possibly talk further to the team to agree the best way forward.
So YES, I’m a free man for a whole year. Christmas is coming and we have a number of family celebrations and “big” birthdays to enjoy. 2017 beckons full of opportunity and with a blank canvass to paint with memories.
“Live life now or live life never” tonight I’ll be raising a glass to you Syd!