Friday, 29 January 2010

TWO Days to go.......

Friday 29th January 2010.

I felt better today after another good nights sleep. Popped into Kingswood to get the car tax sorted and and do a few other jobs.

Then I had to do probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. The one thing that I had been putting off but knew I had to do it........write my letters to the girls and Tracey. I was determined to do this just in case things dont go to plan and I dont come home from the hospital. It was awful and upset me terribly but I'm glad its done. Afterwards my head was thumping and I felt physically sick. I spent the rest of the afternoon cuddled up to tracey and we just sat and talked. It was nice.

I'm also training Tracey how to use the video conferencing so that we can all talk to the girls and dad via Skype and MSN. She's picking it up well and becoming quite the surfer on the web!

MOAS -2 Days.

THREE Days to go......

Thursday 28th January 2010.

Today we did the last of the weekly shops before going to Basingstoke. making sure we got all the supplies in for Joyce and the girls.
Tracey and I then went to the pub for lunch. We decided that we should have an early Valentines meal as we wont be able to do it on the day. We had a nice time just the two of us at our favourite local country pub- The Cross House at Doynton.

My brother came to visit in the afternoon and we again played around with the new technology and set up the wireless network on the WII so the girls can surf the net via this too if they want.
I was tired and had an early night. Again using my sleeping pills to help me nod off. I dont want to become relient on these but I feel its important to go into the Operation with the body well rested even if its chemically induced!

MOAS -3 days

FOUR Days to go.......

Wednesday 27th January 2010.

Today was not so good. Tracey and I were both tired and so we had a quiet day. Mum came around for a cuppa and we just generally took it easy. I also had some goodies delivered andon the evening Jon came around and we set up the wireless router to allow me to log on from the comfort of my bed when I come home after the op. I'm sat in comfort now typing on the sofa and it works great. I was glad to see Jon he has been a very good friend to me over the last few months.

I am accutely aware that the time is ticking away. You cant help it and silly things pop into your mind like "thats the last time I'll do so and so for a while..." its weird. I'm definately getting more tense now and choosing to have this week off from work was a wise move as I wouldnt be able to have concentrated on what was going on.

MOAS -4 days

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

FIVE DAYS to go.......

Tuesday 26th Jan 2010.

We slept much better last night and feel so much better today for it! We have been busy packing our bags and getting everything ready today. Another good nights sleep and I think we'll be ok.

Its hard to believe that this time next week I'll probably just be coming out of surgery or in the Intensive Care Unit. Scary stuff!

MOAS-5 days

Monday, 25 January 2010


Monday 25th Jan 2010

So thats another day gone and, as promised I have just a few lines to write about how we are doing.
Last night was another rough night where neither of us slept. Its what I was afraid of really. I dont feel like I'm worrying too much but I must be. I cant switch off. I dont want to be wiped out before I'm even admitted due to lack of sleep so tonight I think I'll make use of the magic pills from the doctor!

I think we are just about prepared now,the accomodation at the hospital is sorted and every thing else is taken care of.

Just need to make the most of the next few days with my family now.

MOAS-6 days.

Sunday, 24 January 2010

SEVEN DAYS to go........

Sunday 24th January 2010.

One week to go. This time next week I'll be in Basingstoke and the pre-operative preparation will have begun. I'll be unable to eat food and only allowed to drink clear liquids.

I finished work on Friday. It was a tough day. The morning started well as I was able to keep busy and my mind off things. I then met all my friends and colleagues down the pub. There were loads of people and my bestist mate Jon arranged for part of the pub to be reserved for us! Lots of people came and it was great to see everyone.
I then did a tour of both sites saying cheerio to everyone who couldn't make it to the pub. I was hard and on a number of occasions I felt quite choked. I have worked for the company for 11 years now and made many friends many of whom I'm sure will be friends for life.
I made it back to my desk around 15:30 ready to clear up and was on the phone when I realised I was surrounded! I had a feeling there might be some sort of send off and was dreading it as I knew I would find it hard. My boss did a speech and handed me some cards, full of signatures and messages of good luck. There were also some vouchers and I was astonished as to how much they had raised for me. But that wasn't all. I was handed a box that was gift wrapped and told to open it carefully. Inside was a brand new net book. I was overwhelmed. I tried to do a speech but lost it half way through and that started some of the girls off! I cant even remember what I said and when I sat down after I was shaking! I was gobsmacked. I never in a million years expected that and it blew me away. It will mean that (as it has a web cam) both Tracey and I will be able to use it to video call the girls and see them every night. Something I know that Tracey will really cherish as she has been really torn between me and the kids and dreading leaving them.
For the first couple of weeks after the op I will probably be too ill to use it. But Tracey will be able to update everyone from the room at the hospital.
Once I'm back in the land of the living I too will be able to see my girls and of course mail my friends,update facebook the pseudomyxoma forum and of course this blog.
I owe an absolutely huge thanks to everyone at work for their kindness and generosity. Its really shown to me just how many really good friends I have and is very much appreciated from the bottom of my heart.

I had my last Sunday roast for a while today. Seems strange that these simple things we take for granted will just be taken away for a while. I think some things will change forever from next Sunday.

I have the week off now to spend with Tracey and the girls and get things prepared. We have already started saying cheerio to friends and family and are expecting a constant stream of well wishers this week. I'm a little worried that the free time and lack of work to distract me will allow me time to think about things. Friday shook me and I didn't sleep well after the emotional day. Last night or rather this morning I finally dozed off at 4am after some chemical help and I'm really tired now. An early night is in order I think....

I'll post daily now in the run up to the op.

MOAS -7 days.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

The big day looming ever closer.....

Sunday 17th January 2010

This week has been prety good really. With the big day looming ever closer its always at the back of my mind now. Its like a dark cloud looming ever closer and although you may be busy in the sun you are aware of it slowly creeping up on you with no where to run.

Work has been busy and thats a good thing. Its kept me thinking of other things and has been quite tireing but this has meant that I'm remaining pretty positive and am sleeping pretty well at night too.

Its my last working week this week before the operation and we have arranged to meet at the pub to say cheerio to all my freinds and collegues for a while. That will be tough.

I have been in for more innoculations this week. Pneumonia, Meningitus and something else I cant remember. These are to basically offer more protection if my spleen is removed which is pretty certain to happen. I also had an MRSA screen.

Freinds have begun to pop by to wish me the best. Many of whom now I wont see until after the operation. Thats also tough.

We are meeting with my parents this afternoon to start to plan things. Tracey and Mum need to get organised for their stay and ensure that they have everything and are prepared.

I need to get sorted now too. I wont need much, PJ's, smellys, books (although I'm not sure I'll be able to concentrate on these), DVD's & MP3.
I also want to write letters to my beutiful girls before I go.....just in case. The very thought of this brings tears to my eyes even as I type but I have to do this.

I have decided that as I wont be able to post to this blog for quite a while I'm going to ask Mum & Tracey to keep a diary for me whilst I'm in hospital. I want them to start right from day one and for it to be as detailed as possible. I'll then trancribe this to the blog retrospectively as soon as I am able to do so.

The clocks ticking and the dark clouds are looming.......tick, tock.....

But right now believe it or not I am positive. I know what needs to be done and have an idea of whats to come. I have been out running again this week and will run again next week. It helps keep me sane, gives me something to vent my stresses on and of course, most importantly keeps my cardio vascular system in good condition ready for the op.

MOAS -14 days

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Christmas, New Year and the last big adventure (for a while.....)

Sunday 10th January 2010.

Its been a while since I have posted so I thought it was time for an update!

Christmas went very well all things considered.We all had a great time and Christmas day was spent with the family. Its like I always say....."put the effort in and you'll get the rewards back". We did put in the effort and it was great!

New Year was spent with the family and friends at the local rugby club.Again it was a great night. The turn of the year was tough though, we all had a few tears as our thoughts of whats to come filled our heads. But 5 minutes later we were all back dancing and having a good laugh!

I did manage a day out walking too. Rather than the usual Christmas caving trip we headed for the Brecon Beacons and went walking instead. Corn Du, Pen-Y-Fan and Cribbin were under a thick balanket of snow and ice and it was a challenging day. We all finished up with a great meal in a local pub!
I'm lucky I am still symptom free and can therefore do these things. There are many PMP sufferers whose lives are awful prior to treatment.
I think it was my last big adventure for a while......

I spoke to the hospital last week. Some good news. The last lot of bloods that were taken showed that dispite my liver being surrounded by the tumors its function is normal. My renal function is also normal and I'm not anemic. The tumor markers remain high though....and I guess thats to be expected.

The flat is all booked for Tracey and my Mum so we are all ready to go.

I have been feeling well. No symptoms make that easier but mentally I'm also well. Apart from a couple of nights troubled sleep (for which I have some chemical help!) I feel OK. I have been swimming with the kids and running regularly too. I have to remain as fit as possible and keep my cardio vascular system in the best condition possible to put me in the best position possible to get through such a massive op. I'm running for my life now!

MOAS -21 days